Love is...

I'm never
or tripping
in love again
I had said,
closing my heart
until further notice.
Little did I consider
that even love had fallen
foul of technological progress.
Unknown to me, Cupid had
long since traded in
his futile bow and arrow
for a bright metal machine gun.
I'm back again
being very good friends.
Trying hard not to notice
the row of holes
currently appearing
across my chest.

Steve Turner
Fleur's Journal
I'm going to have to either hex or hit my cousin.

I was fine and even coming to terms with the fact that I could shop and shop without ever having to worry about money, perhaps even get over the fact that the money was tainted as such but he changed all that. Oscar - my cousin - has decided that I should not spend the money on such trivial things and has declared that unless I spend my inheritance on a more worthy cause, he will forbid me from seeing his children, my family.

Can he do this? I hope not.

I'm going to have to come up with a plan and fast. He is not going to manipulate me into doing what he wishes. We have been through this time and time again; he is only envious because his mother gave me more money than his entire family. She hated him because he was bitter - He still is.

Anyway, back to planning.

Perhaps I need a drink before I start.


Current Mood: angry angry

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Monaco has been... an experience.

My Aunt Marie passed away late on Saturday, about an hour after I arrived. Oscar (her only son) spent her last hour insulting me and trying to get me to react. I didn't -- the small cuts on my palms are testament to that -- but it was so hard not to.

The money has been transferred into my account and I believe I am over two hundred thousand galleons richer. And that's just my personal account. I feel so empty though, as if everything has turned sour with her death. I don't want to touch her money and I'm considering donating it to a more worthy cause; it feels tainted with sadness.

I am heading back to England in an hour however, I can't miss the Malfoy Midsummer Ball and I have been chosen to be on the ball committee, something I consider a great honour considering who's heading up the operation.

Father told me to go to my solicitor as soon as I return to make sure everything is in order. He also told me to make amendements to my will but it's too early to do that yet.

Mother misses me as does Gabrielle. I'm thinking of visiting more when summer hits but I'm so obsessed with Hogwarts and the restoration. I just can't seem to get it out of my head, it's like a girl wearing the wrong clothes for her shape. I want to make the most out of Hogwarts, I want to restore it as perfectly as I can.


Current Mood: sad sad

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I recieved an Owl from Harry yesterday.

I suppose I should be happy that he's thinking of coming back to England but I can't help worrying about him. I know he's running from something and although I can guess what he's running from, I wish he'd tell me. He hasn't yet told Hermione and Ron about staying at the estate a few years back and I worry how they will take it. I can only hope that they do not blame me for not telling them sooner. As I told Harry, it's not my story to tell and I do not wish to get caught up in it.

I met Lavender Brown the other day and I must say she's a delightful young woman. She has the same interests as me -- shopping, chocolate, men and shoes -- and it makes me happy that another person like me is around on this project. It can only serve to make the restoration more fun. She's having a dalliance with Charlie Weasley and I wish them both well with it. Charlie needs someone to take care of him in my opinion and Lavender seems very sweet. I think they'd be good for each other.

I wonder when we're allowed back on site. I'm feeling rather restless and it's not good for my bank balance if I go out shopping every day.


Current Mood: chipper chipper

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Bill sent me a note this morning.

Is it strange of me to still get butterflies in my stomach when I read that familiar writing, for a smile to light up my face?

I have no idea but hopefully I'll get some answers to my questions tomorrow night. We're going for dinner, although I have no idea where. He'll probably surprise me as usual, it's something he excels at.


Current Mood: confused confused

Ouch! My head hurts this morning. Why do I always drink wine when I know I'm going to feel like this in the morning? I've got some Hangover Potion somewhere though... I wonder if I should send some to Pansy.

Talking of Pansy Parkinson, I met her last night in Hekate's Girdle and I think she's rather fun actually. She also happened to get rather drunk and we shared a few snogs. I hope she knows it meant nothing, just a few kisses between friends. She seems to be rather confused about this Blaise Zabini, who I think I shall have to meet. I want to know what he thinks about her, whether he feels the same.

I also think we were seen last night by two men, although I don't know who they were.


Current Mood: calm calm